Bad Self Portraits is an indie rock band based in Omaha, Nebraska. "I Think I’m Going To Hell" is the final single from their upcoming debut album, and offers a searing reflection on childhood guilt, religious trauma, and OCD. This kind of catharsis in response to religious dogma reminds me a little bit of Jacob Humber. As we get older and our perspectives change, we begin to find our own truth, often in direct contrast to that of our community. This kind of coming-of-age, personal revelation offers a glimpse into what I find so rewarding about indie music in general: at its best, a song like this offers the much-needed foundation for an important conversation about where our opinions come from, and why the forces for conformity can be so heavy-handed.
The amount of cognitive dissonance present in the worldview of the average adult is often matched only by the inability of a young mind to process it. Written by lead vocalist Ingrid Howell, "I Think I'm Going to Hell" recounts a formative childhood memory through the lens of undiagnosed OCD and religious anxiety.
I was roughly five or six years old in the memory that this all stems from, and I stole a single peanut from the grocery store. I had never purposefully done anything wrong before, and wanted to test what could happen, so I ate the peanut in my room, put the shell in my locked diary, and hid the key above the trim on the inside of my closet. No one caught me, but I knew the ‘man in the sky’ saw me, and I was worried that he’d probably tell my great grandparents too. This song describes the thoughts I had surrounding that fear while growing up, feeling like God couldn’t save me, and ultimately trying to figure out how to process religious trauma.
Bad Self Portraits presents a mix of Lofi pop and indie rock, with heavy, distorted guitars, and a band energy that feels both dynamic and fearless. We are impressed by the original vibe, and the willingness to go where many will not.
Oh, my god
Did Jesus ever touch himself?
Formed in Omaha in 2017 by longtime friends Howell, White, guitarist Cole Kempcke, and guitarist/keyboardist Connor Paintin, Bad Self Portraits has become known for their emotionally charged songwriting and magnetic live performances.
Released by: Midtopia